Borb rambles about 2020 & emotions

It’s that time again! It’s time for me to vomit into a text block about my year and how it went and all that good stuff. It’s gonna be a bit of an emotional one so just heads up.

Oh boy… so to start, this year was an interesting one. Specifically because its 2020 and everyone is scared, paranoid, angry, or a combination of the three over anything ranging from restlessness to financial issues and everything between. But me? This year was a personal renaissance, a rebirth, a huge developmental step towards self-betterment.

I went through a very rough patch in my life about a year ago where you almost lost me and I almost lost myself. I came to terms with many things in my life and for the first time in a very long time, I could breathe and think. Of course healing is a gradual process and my scars still sting now and again, but I’m not so encased in my own anxieties and trauma anymore. It was rough and you almost lost me, but I came out on the other side feeling like a new person and I think that’s what matters most.

This growth and change in me has resulted in me doing things this year that I never expected I’d ever do whether it was because I thought it was out of character or because I never thought I’d have the will. I’ve started working with software to create speedpaints, something that I watched all the time as a young, aspiring artist. I’ve put together a functional site where before there was next to nothing. I’ve started working on improving things in my own life where before I’d simply let it sit and fester. I fuckin killed everyone in Art Fight. My point is this year was insane and there’s just so much for me to look at and just go “huh, I did that.” A lot to be proud of and remember fondly in the years to come.

This year wasn’t without its own heartache though, in the form of a loss in the family; A cat, a 17/18 year old little furball who I’d always considered more a sibling than a pet passed away in March of suspected cancer. I held onto him until the end. Love you, Kitty, I hope heaven is treating you well.

its amazing how different the world is when its not filled with static and I felt like I had to discuss it. I don’t know when this whole lockdown business is gonna end, but I know that when it does, I’ll be ready.

Here’s to the new year and whatever follows. Thanks for such an amazing year, Somnol.