Author Archives: mariteaux

About mariteaux

Somnolescent's webmaster with way too much to write about and a stack of CDs he'll never finish.

Cammy vs. the PhotoCam III: This Has Gotten Stupid

The AOL PhotoCam has gone from “my curiosity” to “my nemesis” to “my fairweather obsession I somehow now own five of”. I know more about the PhotoCam than AOL did. I’ve seen the way these things break. I can tell when I got each of them by their specific damage. The search for a single working unit has been going on six years now, and I think we’ve found the end of it–because I now own two working units, one complete in the box.

If you know the story, I have more to update you on. If you don’t know the story, strap in! I’ve got a tale of temperamental retro tech, operator error, Redditor intrigue, and new perspectives on the futility of 30-year-old cameras and perhaps life itself. Yes, there will be photos. Hopefully, you find this a satisfying end to the saga.

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Catching ‘Em All, and How to Do It

If you breathe, you know what Pokémon is. You’ve at least run into a Pikachu or perhaps even a Bulbasaur at some point in your life, and you might have a vague inkling that it’s a game about collecting creatures, with the goal being to, as both the song and the box says, Catch Them All.

The thing is, this is actually a lot fucking harder than you might think–so I set out to do it myself. In a copy of Pokémon Blue for the 3DS, after two-and-a-half years of on-and-off play, I now have a save with a full 151 possible Pokémon caught. I have screenshots of the journey.

What possesses a man to go to such obsessive lengths? What keeps people from doing the thing listed on the box? Why does Lt. Surge have such a fine ass? Join me, friends, and I will answer all your questions.

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London, Through the Eyes of the PowerShot A20

A slightly belated hello from Wales, Letters readers! I’ve actually been in the country for a week and a half now, but I’ve been too busy working on art and story stuff with Caby to put up this post like I wanted. I’ll be here until late August, and the rest of the family is in France right now, so we’re vibing with the guinea pigs.

Since I fly in through Heathrow every time I visit, Caby and I start our visits with a couple days in London, zipping around on the Tube and buying way too much fast food. We’ve been getting more adventurous the more often we do it, and this time, I had a new toy to capture the experience with: a Canon PowerShot A20 circa 2001. This $500 MSRP rebadged Canon IXUS 300 beauty shoots in a max of 1600×1200 and takes CompactFlash cards for additional storage, of which I have a 128MB one in there. Gorgeous.

What does London look like through the lens of the A20? Let’s find out.

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Five Things I Learned from “Hacking Windows XP”

We had our annual local library sale earlier this month! If you’re curious what all I got (it was an especially good haul for weird alternative CDs), you can go read the journal post I wrote on cammy.somnol about it. One of the books everyone, including myself, was most interested in though was a book called Hacking Windows XP, written by Steve Sinchak, the maintainer of tweaks.com to this day, and published by Wiley in their ExtremeTech range. (Wiley, if you don’t know, are the folks that publish those For Dummies books that were the main way I got into retrocomputing as a very small child. I had another of their ExtremeTech books on building an arcade cabinet as well.) What’s especially fun about my copy is the CompUSA price tag on the front that says it was marked down to half off in December of 2004. History!

I’m a long-time XP power user. I had my own XP computer from about when I was 7. I used it every day at school. I now have an XP box on my floor to my left as I write this! (I mostly use it to chat on Aftersleep.) I like to think I know a lot about it, so I was curious how much this book could teach me. Indeed, a lot of especially the early part of the book is about stuff like customizing the Start Menu, changing system icons, and dinking with msconfig. Useful information, but stuff I’ve already got filed away in the brain box and mostly don’t bother with.

That said, I didn’t walk away completely unenlightened! Here’s a handful of stuff from this book that even a grizzled, old-school, daily XP user walked away having learned–either from it just somehow getting by me or because it’s properly nerdy. Also, there’s a CD. I’ll unseal it and we’ll get to that after the main course.

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The Majestic Serenity of Late 1990s Network TV Ads

You know, in the past, I never liked to let people know about my birthday, but this year, I’ve had a change of heart. Yesterday, I turned 26! Pretty sweet. Was a pretty damn good day, I streamed, got some money, Caby and Savannah drew me some really adorable drawings, I got a buzz going, kino. Despite my newfound eagerness in letting people know, that alone wouldn’t be Letters worthy, but I have something special to mark the occasion: retro commercials.

I’m subscribed to a channel on YouTube called OptimumPx. He’s one of those VHS digitization archive channels that uploads commercial breaks and stuff. I don’t catch every single video, but they’re comfy when I’m in the mood. I like his in particular because of the variety (80s up through the 2020s) and because he’s not egotistical enough to watermark his videos like he himself made the commercials or something. You know who you are.

About two months ago, he uploaded a commercial break that aired on CBS during a showing of JAG, which was a 90s legal procedural that I’d never heard of until right now. Turns out, it spawned NCIS, so if you know what that is (and if you’re American, you probably do), there you go. What makes this upload special though is that it aired two days before I was born, on June 1, 1999. That makes this block of ads also freshly 26 years old!

So come with me. Let’s check out what prime time network ads were like 26 years ago.

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Somnolescent Record Club #2: Cage the Elephant’s Thank You Happy Birthday

It’s been about a month since I dug deep into my musical memory banks, so let’s do another edition of that Record Club thing, yeah? To be honest, I’m not used to being this personal when I talk about music. Music has always been the perfect distance from me emotionally, close enough to relate to and enrapture me, but separate enough that I don’t have to share myself much when I share it with others. The idea of regaling the Internet with stories of me as a teenager lost in fantasy thinking of Pokemon OCs while listening to Silversun Pickups and Pixies records is both very fun and kinda embarrassing.

The other good thing about this series is that, because it’s effectively a very casual ramble about how I listen to music and the things I think about when I listen, it doesn’t take long at all to write. That’s good when you got three days to finish and publish it before the month’s out. :blobokhand:

Today’s record brings me right back to middle school, shortly before the world hit me for the first time. It’s a record I still enjoy quite a lot, the noisy, punky, gouged-and-warped pseudo-90s sampler tape that makes up Cage the Elephant’s second album Thank You Happy Birthday. It’s got a 7″ with it!

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Somnolescent Record Club #1: Autolux’s Demos (2001-2002)

I’ve written a lot about music. Like a lot. A lot a lot. Usually, when I talk about music, it’s with this air of formality, either giving my opinion or digging into the details and investigating—I’m autistic, this is what I do.

I do listen to music for fun sometimes, though. I put on songs because they’ve been stuck in my head all day. I have characters and ideas I associate with albums and songs and specific times of my life. Sometimes, even—I will throw on a record.

I’d like to start up a monthly all-vinyl blog ramble series called the Somnolescent Record Club. For once, we’re gonna believe all the myths, get into the groove (quite literally), enjoy the tactility of the big art and the wax platters, and I’ll talk about my listening setup and all the things that run through my head when I put on an album. Today’s record is the vinyl-exclusive gold-colored Demos (2001-2002) from the mighty Autolux, whose debut album these demos were for I lived in in high school.

Hopefully, this runs more casual than you might be used to from me—that’s my aim.

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The New HTTP Order

Happy new year to all our faithful blog readers! January is always the time for reflection and looking forward to the future, and while I do the personal talk on my personal site, I want to discuss the future of you connecting to this here site network here today. I’ve beaten this drum before, but I’m about ready to puncture a hole in it today, because I’m pretty sure there’s not going to be a drum to beat in the next few years.

I am seeing the death of the HTTP-only connection coming in the next year or two, and I am pissed. I will have to force HTTPS on somnolescent.net, something I have resisted at every turn so far, if we want to remain accessible to the wider Web. Think this is hyperbole? Here’s a nice throwback to ring in 2025—have a steaming hot marf rant to keep you warm in these winter months.

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The Number of the Bulb: Cammy’s Greatest Hits

It’s almost midnight here, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still say it: happy Thanksgiving to all our American readers. I had a quick check of what I’d posted on my cammy.somnol journal this time last year, and evidently, I wasn’t a happy camper, but this year, I’m feeling significantly more content. Actually, this might be the most comfortable and pleased I’ve ever been during the holiday season. 2018 and 2022 were ruined by, ahem, suboptimal family situations, 2019, I was in Ohio getting shoved into closet doors, and 2020 and 2021 were stressful for the reasons it was stressful for everyone, but 2024? This year is ending quite nicely.

As I get older, I realize that I’ve largely left behind a pretty angsty, negative legacy as mariteaux, full of “people aren’t doing [x] correctly” and “[x] sucks” and “I’m working on this deficit in my personality”—at some point, a boy’s gotta be a little happier, and I’ve got a lot to be thankful for. I’m gonna ramble about all the things that have gone well for me and all I accomplished this year and am proud of, while it’s late and I’m feeling good and full of alcohol.

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How to Host a Site Network for All Your Friends

So about a week ago, I got a very nice email from a Somnolescent reader named Cyrano. I don’t normally post reader mail–for starters, I don’t get enough of it to make mailbag posts a thing–but this time, I got a mailer daemon every time I tried to reply. There’s nothing personal in it, so I’m gonna take the risk and post things on the blog. Hopefully you see this, Cyrano, and you don’t think I simply ignored you. Your reply address isn’t working is all.

Somnolescent has a pretty unique setup as far as little amateur indie Web stuff goes. Everyone on somnolescent.net has their own account where only they can access their subdomains’ files, and potentially the files of domains outside somnolescent.net. Because I know Somnolescent attracts people who are in little online art collectives and Web groups and sometimes would like to know how to start their own site like ours, I’ve elected to lightly edit the book I wrote for Cyrano and post it here to Letters instead. Hopefully, someone finds the information useful.

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